Breakdown....And a whole new beginning

Hello! :)

Well well, yesterday I was at the hospital because of my toe right before work and gladly it is bruised and hurt, but not broken. What a relief! I was sitting there, watching some other women and admired the beautiful, thin body of one of them. I thought "I wanna be like her!" Then I got back to work, and my boss sent me back home right away which was really sweet from him - unusual! :D

At home (I'm still living with my mom and stepdad) I was happy at first and had a nice hangout with my mom but then my stepdad joined and was in terribly bad mood again....We got into a big fight again which resulted into tons of alcohol, self injury and late night bingeing. I cannot even describe how much I hated myself after....

Today I decided to give myself a little break from work. When I woke up, I felt dizzy, weak and miserable because of what happened yesterday. I said to myself, DAMNIT, now I have a blog called Enough is enough and still do SHIT like that!! Maybe....maybe I needed this last big breakdown. Now I feel it right into every single bone....it IS enough. I won't let myself pushed down anymore by the craziness of my family, mainly my stepdad. When he gets nuts again, it'S only HIS problem, not mine. And I won't make it mine anymore. IT'S MY LIFE, EY!

Tried out some sports again today although the doctor said no and my toe did hurt. Well. At least 15 minutes of Middle Impact (somewhere between High and Low Impact) and some crunches. Better than nothing :) I did only eat
~1,050~ calories!!!WOW! Ha! I see! Get your emotional triggers under control and voilá, you get control over your bingeings and pass-outs! Yeah, I know, there will be steps back too, but for today I can say - Good job girl! You're on the right path! :)